


Touch me, just like that

by let_build_a_snowman



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gay, Gay Sex, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, Love Confessions, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-04-08 07:55:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19102912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/let_build_a_snowman/pseuds/let_build_a_snowman
Summary: Roger's handsy and always willing to touch everyone, but it seems that he has some strange issues for getting close to Brian May. Brian loves Roger secretly, but he just doesn't know why Roger keeps rejecting his coming closer, which is really frustrating.Or Roger and Brian have some mutual attraction, but both of them refuse to admit first.





	1. Is touching too intimate?

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I still don’t know why I write this. Honestly, I’m a little bit too messed up these days, and there’re a lot of things need to be finished. But still, I think doing this will make me feel way much better. So, there you go. It’s just a stupid love story comes from no where between Brian May and Roger Taylor. Anyway, hope you’ll enjoy.

Roger Taylor’s handsy, everybody knows that. He loves to get a little too close to others, like there’s no such thing called safe zone for him, both for boys and girls. He’ll even get way too far while drunk. This stunning little boy with big blue eyes and oh-my-god-how-could-it-be-really-this-long eyelash will literally put his pale arm on everything that can move around their shoulders for clenching, and, if he’s intoxicated enough, pull you into a way-too-passionate embrace. And seldom, just seldom, if you’re lucky, or unlucky, that depends, enough, he will lean in and give you a light kiss just right there on your lips and ask you out. But seriously, who can turn such a beauty down? So Roger will always get what he wants in the end, mostly groupies, although being accused of lacking respect by some jealous guys, well, most of the time it’s just Brian May, actually.

Brian May has been so into the drummer since the first day they met. He can still well remember that Sunday afternoon. It’s an ordinary rehearsing day, nothing special, except they let out a poster, which unexpectedly changed his whole life later, seeking for a drummer earlier that week. They were playing a quite cheesy song which Brian hated so much that he just wanted to finish it soon at that very moment when Roger rushed in, pinning the poster on the small brown table just in front of Brian.

“Hey, guys.” The little boy started, “So you’re looking for a drummer right?” He lifted his head to find Brian’s eyes, and maybe stopped for half a second, Brian thought, then threw his eyesight cross Brian’s shoulder and continued, “Well, in case you don’t know, I can do exactly everything you wrote on that bloody paper.”

Perhaps it’s because of the shining sunlight shooting through the window, or the bright big and confident smile on Roger’s amazingly gorgeous face, anyway, Brian’s got distracted, and didn’t really follow the younger man’s word, instead, he began to admire the beauty standing right in front of him. Were it not by the God, he couldn’t imagine how will a guy be made so pretty. His long blond locks stuck on his sweaty eyelids and cheeks, which might tickle him a bit for he reached up to tuck them behind his ears, and Brian could literally see every single drop of the sweat on the tip of Roger’s nose because of the small distance.

“Well, then show us.” Tim’s voice rose from behind, but Brian couldn’t understand any words of it. Honestly, he couldn’t put any words together coherently right now. The way Roger looked into Brian’s eyes moments ago was actually piercing through his mind. He’s totally screwed.  
*  
Roger’s an extrovert for everyone, but Brian is a strange exception. No matter how focused Roger is in chatting and laughing hard, every time Brian walks in, he will suddenly stay silent and tense up, like getting ready to fight with Brian at any time. Brian has absolutely no idea why Roger’s acting so weird around him. It’s not like they are enemies and they hate each other so much. On the contrary, they’re kind of close, and perfect for each other. They can always understand the new ideas and thoughts of each other, even the most bizarre ones, so in some ways, they definitely have the right to claim they’re best friends. But still, like there’s some invisible deep gap between them, Roger’s never as relaxed when he’s near as when he’s with Freddie, or Deaky, or any random guys but Brian.

You can’t say Brian never get curious or confused to this thing, but yes, he never really asks Roger about why he’s always so uncomfortable around him. Sometimes he’ll feel upset for Roger’s rejection to his casual touch, even if he knows maybe Roger doesn’t mean that. He just keeps quiet, like keeping this a mutual secret between them. They always say “never ask, never say”, right? He doesn’t want to ruin their friendship by some stupid questions, at least not now. Besides, Roger seems much easier to get furious when they’re working together, and of course, he himself is also a tough person, so, it’s enough, Brian sometimes will think, no more fighting for the nonsense. If you ask, Brian will admit that Roger’s incredibly beautiful when he’s angry, eyes narrowed and cheeks flushed, biting his lower lip, like a powerful demon living in the body of a peaceful angel. And, well, he has to confess that he has jerked off picturing Roger’s face in his small bathroom like a horny teenager or a pervert, or both, after their fight once or twice, ok, maybe three times. Fine, perhaps a few times more, but he swears to god, never more than ten times.  
*  
It’s a normal Monday afternoon, after a long day full of composing and recording, all four bandmates feel like to call it a night and go to the bar to have some fun. Maybe they can do some usual flirting things and hook up with several hot local girls. By the way, they are in the village now for their new album.

After a few shots, they all get a little drunk. Freddie and Deaky head to the dancing floor first, and then, Roger leaves, too.

Right now, Brian’s sitting on the big couch all alone, sipping martini from the glass held in his pale, long-fingered hand. Far on the floor, he can see Roger now is putting both of his hands on a cute lady’s hips, swinging his own body with the beat of the song, thanks to his fabulous eyesight, which is not as poor as Roger’s. Brian has drunk far too much to still keep himself sober. Under such a situation, when music’s getting too loud and people’s getting too crowded, he becomes unable to think straight, like he always did before. A strange mixed feeling with jealousy and frustration hits him all at once, so despite of having hidden his emotion for so many years, he walks directly to Roger, who’s giggling now like some stupid school girls, well, maybe a little tipsy and not in a line for he drinks way too much today, wanting to figure out what the hell exactly is going on between them, or did he do something wrong. Like the old time, when Roger noticed him coming through, he stops giggling at once, body tensed up, ready to fight.

“Oh, look at you, what a hot chick!” Brian ignores the all-tensing-up Roger, staring at the girl’s also-beautiful-but-can-never-compare-with-Roger’s big eyes. Quite innocent, Brian thinks through the mist in his brain, considering she maybe has slept with so many random guys. “You know what, you little minx?” Brian starts again, this time, putting one arm around that girl and throwing a wicked smirk to the confused Roger, voice raw and low, whispering, “He’s so good at this, I mean Roger, and he will treat you right and fuck you so hard that you can see the star. Right, Roger?” This time, he stares right into Roger’s big blue eyes. So beautiful, his already blurring mind tells him vaguely. Fuck it, he has made up his mind to piss Roger off and show him how discontent he is through all these years.

“Hey, you need some rest, you’re drunk.” Roger said softly. Seems he’s in such a good mood, huh? Brian tells himself, whimpers unhappily for his failure. He needs to try harder. So he grabs Roger’s hand violently that it hurts and leans into Roger’s safe zone, yeah, that stupid piece of shit only sets for him. He knows how hateful Roger feels to this kind of things, his touch, specifically, which disappointed him for such a long time. He just can’t stand it anymore. As expected, Roger’s getting angry. There you go, little boy, right in the mood, Brian thinks.

“What the fuck are you doing? Get away from me!” Roger shouts out, blushes a bit for some secret reasons Brian doesn’t understand while doesn’t really feel like to figure out, trying his best to pulling away from Brian as well as dragging his hand back. But Brian just clenches his long fingers around Roger’s thin wrist, making him moan for the aches. “Stop Bri, it hurts!” It’s so unreal, he’s unreal, Brian thinks after seeing Roger’s reddening face and watery eyes. Putting too much effort in his thought, he relaxes his own hand a bit and lets Roger’s slip away accidentally. Roger turns around from him almost too quickly and runs away, he stands still for a short second and then chases after, leaving the girl on the dancing flooring, confused.


	2. Is everything truly getting better?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even if Brian feels a strong willing to tell Roger about his deep affection, his pathetic sense of self-respect goes on convincing him that he shouldn’t show his weakness, which is obviously the way he calls his feelings to Roger, someone who has a high possibility to consider him as a disgusting dick. The thought Roger hates him grows, and soon it becomes beyond bearable. Brian feels deeply hurt. He has to fight back, and use this a perfect disguise to cover his disappointment and embarrassment for the whole actual being-upset-by-Roger’s-aversion-to-him stuff. So he begins in no time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it took me a little bit longer to finish this chapter for I'm not sure where their fight should lead to. So I think maybe it can continue like this, but I'm just not sure if it's a good way for the development of the story.  
> Anyway, I still hope you can enjoy this. Thank you for your reading! xD

Rushing out of the back door after Roger, Brian gets a bit clearer, for the comforting summer breeze is really cooling him down effectively. There’s a long, dark alley, twisting and turning at the back of the bar, with no road lamps or car lights alongside. Usually, in the bright moonlight, like most of the wonderful nights, it’s hard for anyone not to appreciate such a beautiful scene, vague silhouette casting on the dark brown walls made of real old-fashioned bricks, which itself is relaxing. But this night is just not one of them. The should-be-bright moon right now is hiding in the dark clouds, throwing the alley completely into darkness. 

Well, even if it’s a good day today, Brian doesn’t think he’s now sober and calm enough to enjoy the fucking silhouettes on the bloody brick wall. Without considering too much of where to go or what to do as always, Brian just lets himself run along the dark alley, and the only thought in his mind is to find Roger and stop him, although he has absolutely no idea what he’s going to say when reaching the angry little one. Thanks to those two long legs Brian has, he sees Roger at the second corner of that alley almost in no time.

“Roger, wait!” Brian shouts out loudly at Roger’s back, but the younger man seems not listening. The way Roger clenches his shoulder shows his stubbornness and attempt of not to turn back and face Brian anymore. However, Brian hurries up, getting close enough to put both of his hands on Roger’s shoulders, forcing him to look at him.

“Hey, what’s the fucking matter with you, Bri?” Being dragged by such strong hands, the younger man finally gives in. “Just… Oh god for fuck’s sake, just get your hands away from me.” By shaking his shoulders tentatively, which Brian thinks is seductive, although apparently it’s not a good time to have these thoughts, Roger gets rid of Brian’s hands successfully.

Watching Roger back away with hatred, Brian feels himself is now burning with fury. He’s so exhausted. Why Roger just can’t shut the fuck up and listen to me? Why he’s always keeping distance? Is he hate me or does he feel I’m disgusting for something I’ve done? These’re almost everything Brian can manage now through his overwhelmed mind. Honestly, he just wants Roger to listen, not to cut in before he can explain himself clearly. That isn’t asking too much, is it? But seems it doesn’t work at all.

At this moment, Roger is standing in the darkness half way of the alley. It’s too dark for Brian to figure out the expression on Roger’s face, and all he can see is the shadow of Roger’s eyelashes down on his cheeks. They once said that those who are badly short-sighted is more likely to see clearly in the dark, Brian suddenly comes up with. Then he just wonders if Roger can see every single move of him easily, which is creepy.

Even if Brian feels a strong willing to tell Roger about his deep affection, his pathetic sense of self-respect goes on convincing him that he shouldn’t show his weakness, which is obviously the way he calls his feelings to Roger, someone who has a high possibility to consider him as a disgusting dick. The thought Roger hates him grows, and soon it becomes beyond bearable. Brian feels deeply hurt. He has to fight back, and use this a perfect disguise to cover his disappointment and embarrassment for the whole actual being-upset-by-Roger’s-aversion-to-him stuff. So he begins in no time.

“Oh fuck you Rog, I know you don’t like me. Do you think I’m disgusting? That’s why you always keep away?” Too much alcohol makes him a total idiot who can just shout out loud in all these breaking, nonsense sentences. That’s bad. But he barely has any conscious to notice he’s acting like a fool. “Never mind, Roger. Never fucking mind. You think that’ll bloody hurt me? I don’t give a shit to this!”

Behind the dark black curtain of the night, Brian thinks he might’ve just seen Roger open his mouth and try to say something, but he doesn’t give him any chances. He continues. “Look, the bloody point is… What did I say just now? Oh fucking hell. Well, I don’t give a shit, Rog, to you and your fucking thoughts.” If you ask, Brian doesn’t know exactly what he’s talking about either, but he just feels like hurting Roger in the exact same way Roger hurt him. “You disgust me, Rog. You just fuck around with random guys. Are you even clean? I don’t know what’s wrong with you. Can’t you just hold yourself for a second? Just don’t act like a fucking needy whore ok? For fuck’s sake you’re not a goddamn cat in fucking heat.”

Frankly speaking, Brian can’t really remember how far he goes, but he does know he goes a bit too far, well, much too far actually. The clouds give way to the pale moon for a second or two, and this time, Brian sees Roger’s already big enough eyes go wider, revealing his shock and pain to Brian’s word as Brian can’t stop talking.

“And you’re abso-”

“Fuck off! What the fuck are you fucking saying!” Finally, Roger screams out, breaking Brian’s word when he’s about to run out of his vocabulary. Roger’s shuddering now, whole-bodily, which, even though he’s extremely drunk, is easy for Brian to know Roger is now in his new level of rage and ready to slap him right on his cheek now and there. However, unexpectedly, Roger doesn’t do anything. The younger man just turns himself sideways and walks past Brian incredibly quickly, causing a small breeze to Brian’s side, trying hard not to brush his hand, or arms, or any part of his body to Brian’s in such a narrow alley. Brian doesn’t do anything, either, although he knows he said some extremely horrible things just now. He just stands there, still, hearing the footstep getting farther and farther, till it disappears in the eternal silence of the dark alley.

It seems like a lifetime long when Brian finally gets to move his legs. But suddenly, he feels unbearably dizzy and nauseous, which almost makes him blacks out. I can’t take this anymore, Brian tells himself. He feels his legs go weak and whole body begins to sweat. And that’s the last thing Brian can remember.   
He passes out.  
*  
The next thing Brian knows is the bed. He is now lying on an uncomfortable hard bed in a room he’s unfamiliar with. His head aches so much, and he can scarcely think straight. In his blurred vision, he can see someone coming to him with a big white towel in his hand. This guy has long blond hair and big blue eyes. That’s familiar, Brian thinks. Oh, that’s Roger.

The next second Brian can feel the sag of the mattress right beside himself. Even though he can’t see what’s going on clearly, he knows that’s Roger sitting by his side. Then, something cool and wet was set on his forehead, he shivers for the sudden touch of that towel. Now he feels a lot more relaxed, despite that terrible thing between him and Roger haven’t been solved yet.

“Uh…” He’s trying to say something like apologies or comforting, but he’s too tired to speak. Every word flowing out of his lips is turned into soft hums and whimpers. Well, Brian doesn’t expect that to happen. But then, he feels the cover getting lifted, which causes the goose bumps on his arms for the air-conditioner in its great condition. Brian writhes slightly in protest.

“Shh…” Brian hears the blonde says in a gentle tone, then puts one hand on his crotch against the fabric of the jeans and begins to stroke. That feels so amazing that Brian leans into the touch. It’s too good to be real. He knows that Roger is definitely angry about him after that terrible quarrel, but then how to explain this? If Roger’s furious and doesn’t want to talk to him, why does he do this to make Brian feel so horny and frustrated? The only reasonable explanation seems to be that Roger actually secretly loves him too. But, no, that’s totally insane. Roger refuses to his touches all the time, which means, there’s zero chance for Roger to love Brian.

Things are getting weird now, and Brian is sure as hell to know this. But shit, Roger’s touch feels so good and he doesn’t want to call an end to this. Additionally, Roger always says everyone should enjoy the life considering it is too short and full of danger and adventure, so maybe he should listen to Roger for once, right? Not giving him too much time to think, the blonde goes straight for the fly and pulls his jeans all the way down to his ankles. Without really realizing what’s happening, Brian feels Roger’s mouth around his half-hard cock, warm and moist.

First, it’s just a tongue licking feather lightly on the tip. Then, Brian can feel it twirling just under the head of his cock. But it’s not enough. It’s far from enough. He needs more. So Brian reaches down, pulling a handful of the golden hair and forcing the blonde to take him deeper and move faster. With Brian’s hand on his head, the blonde swallows all the way in, deep down to his back of the throat, which will definitely make his voice raw later. He follows Brian’s rhythm of his hand and bobs his head submissively. Brian’s way too overwhelmed by all this deep-throat stuff, groaning and moaning a bit too loudly. 

No more than a few minutes, Brian comes, almost violently. The blonde keeps bobbing his head to help Brian through his orgasm, and doesn’t pull away until Brian drags his hair softly in case everything’s getting too sensitive. When the blonde lifts his head to look at him, Brian swears he sees his cum being swallowed thoroughly.  
*  
Silence for a few minutes with the blonde putting his head on his thigh, the younger man stands up slowly. Brian tries to reach out and hold his hands to ask him silently to stay, but the blonde just ignore it and heads out straightly. Brian’s getting upset again.

However, in no more than ten minutes, when Brian’s about to fall in sleep, the blonde comes back to him and sit next to him on the edge of the single bed. Maybe he went out to clean himself, Brian thinks. This time, Brian holds the blonde’s hand, which surprisingly is much softer and smoother than expected, so tight that it almost hurts, since he’s determined not to let him slip away and confident to make all these terrible misunderstandings clear. 

“Roger,” he begins. “I’m so sorry to say all these horrible things to you.” No feedbacks, no answers, nothing meaning forgiveness coming from the blonde sitting next to him. But that’s ok, Brian tries to convince himself, he’s too angry to answer his questions, besides, it’s already a marvelous achievement for both him and Roger to sit there like that, holding hands tightly without complaining about.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, I really didn’t. Just… Just you’re too warm to everyone except me, and I’m just… too jealous about it.” Brian confesses. “I’ve loved you so much, since the first day I met you.” Brian’s voice is getting lighter and lighter, till it fades away. He’s so happy now. Although he didn’t get the proper forgiveness from Roger, at least, they’ve stopped fighting. By the way, Roger has already known what’s on his mind, then why bother making everything neat and tidy in such a hurry? They’ve still got plenty of time to discuss this tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, or even, the entire life. Brian’s asleep soundly now.  
*  
The next morning when Brian’s awake, he feels refreshed and exuberant. This is literally the brightest morning he has ever seen. He feels light as a bird and ready to fly. He looks around first and find that the place he feels unfamiliar with is actually a single-bed room of an inn. Then, he turns his head to the side and takes his time to appreciate the beautiful blond locks Roger has and the smooth curve of his shoulders.  
Lying still for a while, Brian shifts on the bed, trying to sit up and lean back to the headboard, which accidentally wakes the blonde up.

“Good morning.” The blonde says in a strangely high pitch, rubbing his eyes with the back of his already numb left hand.

“Good mor-” Brian suddenly stops, seems to find something wrong. “Wait, you… you’re a girl? You’re not Roger? Then where’s Roger? You’ve been here all night long last night?” Well, that can explain why the hands he was holding last night is too soft to come from a drummer.

“Well, yes? I guess it’s me who keep you a whole night company.” There’s seems to be too many questions for her to answer. “And don’t worry, I’m a nurse, you’re absolutely healthier than you used to be now…”

Brian isn’t in the mood for joking with groupies now, so he just breaks in rudely. “Ok, so just forget what happened last night and just go away ok?” There’s the good part of groupies, they’re always good and listen to every single word you tell them, so you seldom have the worry about messing up with them after a one-night-stand.

After the door was slammed violently by the annoyed young girl, Brian lets his mind wander. So that means he didn’t really make up with Roger right? That whole sex and confession stuff are both from and to the wrong guy. And that’s not the worst. The worst thing is that Roger should be still furious about him now, and he did say way too many bad things last night.

This is a huge mistake. And Roger will never, ever, ever forgive me anymore. Brian thinks frustratedly. Brian always has bunch of negative thoughts, but this one? Maybe it really is unfixable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so happy hearing from you last time. Still, I hope you can leave your kudos and comments for me. Give me any suggestions or supports.  
> Love you guys so much! Best wishes to you all.

**Author's Note:**

> So, that's it. I'm always not a good writer, so hope you can forgive all mistakes I've made in this. I'm so happy you read it. Leave any comment or suggestions for me, I'll be more than happy. Thank you for all you guys' reading!


End file.
